Posts Tagged "family"
December 22, 2022
Connect with a Senior During the Holidays
Hannah Boulton defies the stereotype of the lonely retiree longing for companionship during the holidays. But after two-plus years of a pandemic, even this dynamic former nurse who’s lived on three continents started feeling a little isolated.
Then she met Ally Brooks, a high school senior, through the Sages and Seekers program at the senior center in Duxbury, Massachusetts, in September. The program, modeled on a national nonprofit’s workshop, paired up seven retirees with seven high school seniors. It was such a success – the program was Boulton’s’ idea – that a second one is planned in January for a new crop of seniors.
The 76-year-old Boulton and Brooks bonded immediately over their love of travel. Boulton shared her adventures, having lived in Okinawa during the Vietnam War, where her first husband was stationed, and in Karlsruhe, Germany, where her second husband worked.
And she encouraged Brooks to follow through with a plan to apply to four colleges in England and Scotland, including, coincidentally, one that Boulton’s late husband had attended. “I was so excited for her, and of course I’ll visit her” in college, she said. “I just feel like we’re connected.”
Chris Coakley, who manages the volunteers for the Duxbury senior center, said the Sages and Seekers program fulfilled its goal of easing the isolation she saw was affecting the town’s older residents.
A significant minority of older Americans in various surveys have said they are lonely, and the pandemic only heightened that feeling, which already existed for reasons ranging from hearing loss to struggles with the death of a spouse or a chronic illness.
The pandemic, Coakley said, made the center’s staff realize “how important it was to have connections.”
So consider taking the initiative yourself to reach out to an older family member or neighbor. Invite someone for a meal during the holidays or drop in for a visit.
It takes a little work. But the effort will make a difference. …Learn More
April 7, 2022
The Pandemic Was a Gift to this Grandpa
In the early days of the pandemic, four of Marc Joseph’s grandchildren, along with their parents, came from Austin and Orlando to live with him and his wife, Cathy, in Scottsdale, Arizona. Two other grandchildren living nearby were frequent visitors to the house for meals and sleepovers with their cousins.
Many families coalesced to ride out the pandemic together and counteract the stillness that fell over the world. Joseph’s six joyful weeks with his grandkids, ranging in age from 1 to 8, changed how he looks at his personal relationships and the responsibilities of being a grandparent.
“As you grow older, you grow wiser,” he said. “I wish I was there more often for my kids – every concert they were in, every ballgame they played. I was traveling around the world. I wasn’t always home,” said the former entrepreneur. “If I can spend more time with my grandkids, then maybe it’s making up for what I didn’t give my kids.”
The time with his grandchildren is so precious that Gramps, as the children call him, found a way to keep the connection alive when the children went back home. Every evening, he and Cathy made up stories about dinosaurs roaming their house in order to share them with the grandkids on Facetime. One night, the dinosaurs camped out at the refrigerator eating blueberries. Another night they were playing the piano.
“We became part of the routine,” Joseph said. “The kids took baths and read books and then they’d say, ‘What are the dinosaurs doing tonight?’ That gave us a chance to keep in communication with them.”
Joseph’s focus on family isn’t at all unusual. One research study found that women don’t make major changes in their more developed personal lives after retiring. But men do. After years of focusing on their careers, older men become more dependent on family and greatly expand their social networks.
All that love from grandchildren – without having to worry about managing their day-to-day activities – takes the edge off of getting older. This may be especially true during COVID, which has isolated retirees from the social interaction crucial to maintaining their mental and physical health. …Learn More
January 13, 2022
2 Options in an Emergency: Savings or Family
The pandemic was a crash course in the importance of having some money in the bank for an emergency.
When COVID started to spread, jobs vanished, mothers abruptly stopped working to care for children who weren’t in school, and, for the unlucky people who became ill, the medical bills rolled in.
Congress took extraordinary measures during these extraordinary times and approved three rounds of relief payments totaling several thousand dollars per household in 2020 and 2021. But the federal payments, along with extra unemployment benefits and an increase in the child tax credit, weren’t enough to keep everyone afloat.
That left the people who didn’t have any savings with one other fallback option to get them through the tough times: borrowing from a family member.
The non-savers resorted to borrowing from family at three times the rate of people who did have savings – 15 versus just 5 percent, according to surveys conducted in 2020 and 2021 by the financial services company, BlackRock.
But borrowing from family to ease financial strains causes another problem: the people who got help from family said it stressed them out, the survey found.
Right now, the economy is doing pretty well, and jobs are plentiful. It might be time to think about a New Year’s Resolution. Many workers are still barely getting by, and it can be difficult to save. But at least give it a try.
The next time you have a financial emergency, Congress probably won’t be there to bail you out.
Read more blog posts in our ongoing coverage of COVID-19. …Learn More
December 9, 2021
Men Make Bigger Changes After Retiring
Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. That continues to hold true in retirement.
A new study that examines two aspects of this major life change – personal and financial relationships – finds that men and women use their newfound freedom in different ways.
The change in men’s social lives after they retire is more dramatic because they greatly expand their network of friends, adult children, and extended family, and they have more conversations with them about personal matters.
Men “become more dependent on family,” concludes research by two University of Wisconsin sociologists.
Retirement doesn’t mark the same type of social shift for women, however. They already had a larger network and always took more responsibility for maintaining relationships, and not much changes in retirement – with one exception. Women increase the number of hours spent taking care of their grandchildren.
The differences are consistent across much of the western world, according to this study, which was based on surveys in the United States and Europe – from Sweden to Spain to Estonia. Although married and single people participated in the survey, the heart of the analysis was asking each individual this question:
“Looking back over the last 12 months, who are the people with whom you most often discussed things that are important to you?” Each individual listed up to five people in their networks, the nature of the relationships, and how often they are in contact.
In addition to branching out socially, retired men are more likely to give money to offspring or other family members. In married couples, this is often jointly decided by husband and wife. But the actual money transfers picked up only after the men – and not the women – retired and had more energy to devote to family. …Learn More
November 4, 2021
How to Pick (or Be) a Retiree’s Financial Ally
If you need help managing your finances in old age, it’s a lot of work to find someone – and not a very pleasant task to think about.
But it’s crucial that retirees plan for this. As to when or whether you might need help, it really depends on your individual circumstance.
Attorney and researcher Naomi Karp cites a variety of studies that provide some clues to the different ways this process can play out. People who develop dementia obviously need what she calls a financial advocate. This might be a trusted friend, family member, lawyer or professional financial adviser.
But roughly a third of aging Americans who are experiencing natural cognitive decline are prone to making poor decisions about their money, she explained during a recent webinar sponsored by the federal Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) where she used to work.
Financial acumen actually peaks well before retirement – at 53! – but wisdom makes up for some of that, she said. During one’s 70s and 80s, financial literacy declines, but unfortunately confidence about one’s abilities remains high. “That’s a risky situation,” Karp said.
She and other financial experts have put together an interactive website – the Thinking Ahead Roadmap – with six steps to follow to find an advocate. Each step has tips, tools, and information to guide you through the process. An adult child or caregiver could also use this website if they feel the need to assume more responsibility for an elderly parent’s finances. …Learn More
July 3, 2019
Happy Independence Day!
Here’s the back story to your barbecued chicken and grilled hamburgers.
On July 4, 1777, Philadelphians marked the first anniversary of independence from the British with a spontaneous celebration. Future president John Adams described the ships parading on the Delaware River that day as “beautifully dressed in the colours of all nations.” In the aftermath of the Civil War, freed slaves turned the Fourth into a celebration of their emancipation.
If you have the day off from work, thank Congress for declaring the Fourth a federal holiday in 1870. Enjoy! …Learn More
May 28, 2019
Cars Separate U.S. Retirees from Germans
Retired Germans spend more days outdoors than retirees in this country. But when older Americans leave the house, they stay out longer.
What makes the difference? The car. Americans love their automobiles and overwhelmingly rely on them, according to a new study by MIT’s AgeLab. If they’re going grocery shopping, they might as well run their other errands.
Only about half of Germans, on the other hand, say driving is their favorite way to get around. And they venture out more frequently, because they can walk – or bike – to the market, which tends to be closer to home.
As people age and recognize the inevitability of their limitations, they begin to think more carefully about whether they will be able to remain in their homes. To gain insight into this issue, the AgeLab surveyed older Germans and Americans to compare their retirement experiences and satisfaction with their lifestyles – the AgeLab calls it “residential mastery.”
This goal is achievable for seniors everywhere, if they can find a way to continue to live healthily in a particular cultural and social environment. “Americans may reach residential mastery by having access to a car, ride-sharing or taxi services, while Germans may reach residential mastery by having shops and amenities in walking distance,” concluded an article in the Journal of Environmental Psychology.
In the survey, retirees in each country were asked what they need and what their neighborhoods provide. Both Germans and Americans put the most value on living close to healthcare facilities and their family and friends, who can provide the day-to-day support they need. They agreed on 12 of 17 aspects of their lifestyles – affordability, places to sit and rest, cultural institutions, green spaces, etc. – as being critical to them. …Learn More